Body Positivity and Sex: What’s (Self) Love Got To Do With It?

These days you can feel that there is a lot of pressure to look a certain way. We are a generation bound to social media, and apps such as Instagram can really dictate the way we think we should look. The rise of social influencers and fitness bloggers comes with a rise in awareness of how we look; countless numbers of us striving for this “perfection” we see posted daily. It can be hard to love your own body when you compare it to what you see online, the thing is, you really shouldn’t compare yourself. Body positivity is a difficult thing to practice, but in the end it is very much worth it. Firstly, what is body positivity? Body positivity is the encouragement of accepting your own body, it is the unlearning of the idea that only certain types of bodies are the ideal type of bodies. It’s about loving the internal and external aspects of your being. Body positivity is accepting that all bodies are good bodies. Body positivity is all about embracing who you are, and not judging anyone else for who they are. Secondly, body positivity is not just about you. This is especially salient in regards to sex, as they say, “it takes two to tango”, and you’re not just having sex with yourself. The person you are with, no matter how confident they seem, probably has issues with their own body and they might really benefit from you bringing forward a strong sense of body positivity in the bedroom. Equally, if your partner is extremely nervous about a physical aspect of themselves, practising body positivity might be a game changer for them. So, you might be wondering how you can become more body positive, and how this could help your love life? The bad news is that there is no simple answer to this question, other than finding out how to be a more body positive person yourself. I could tell you to leave the lights on when you have sex, wear really lacy underwear or allow your partner to see parts of you that you normally cover up, but these things are all just personal preferences. Yeah, taking steps like this may help someone, but you just really need to take the time to accept yourself. The good news is that there is no wrong way about trying to find your own body positivity. Some people like to look at themselves in the mirror and affirm everything they find beautiful about themselves. Learning to accept your own body and not hiding from yourself can be a massive step. Hanging out with friends who are confident in their own bodies can really be a great influence, as surrounding people who love you for who you are can really help you accept yourself. Correspondingly, not criticising other people’s bodies and not judging them on appearance can go a long way to breaking the cycle of thinking that you also have to look a specific way.Wear clothing that makes you feel good, this could be the lacy underwear I previously mentioned, but in reality it is just about feeling comfortable with yourself everyday. Again, it’s about branching away from what society says you should wear, and being happy with your own personal aesthetic. Chill out in your underwear, write yourself positive messages, take some selfies, show your body lots of love; have a spa day for yourself, learn to relax and enjoy your body; dance around your room, go crazy, learn that your body can do all these incredible things. Googling tips on body positivity can be worth it, and trying out different methods that other people have tried and tested may work for you. Body positivity will come when you actively seek it.In the end, you’ll find peace with body positivity when you realise you are worthy of love just as you are, and all the nakedness in the world does not discount any sense of beauty. Every body is different, and everyone is equally great. When you accept this you’ll not just empower yourself, but everyone around you; and you’ll probably have a heckin good time in the bedroom.