HEADLINES

CRIME - Brett Kavanaugh appointed to tackle sexual assault in UCC under new ‘Takes one to know one’ initiative.CULTURE - UCC student ends racism by watching Get Out with Black Roommate.OPINION - How do I tell someone their new baby is fuck ugly?BUSINESS - Tesla stocks jump 40% as Elon Musk shoots Heroin on live T.VBREAKING - 1st Year Physiotherapy Student elected as LGBTQ Society Chairperson, after bravely revealing he only watches Lesbian porn.