Lena Dunham’s Crucifixion Date Decided

It was announced last Thursday that Girls star Lena Dunham’s crucifixion date has been set for the 24th of March.This announcement was met by roars of cheers from lynch mobs, people with pitchforks, those who “just like being part of a gang,” and active Twitter users alike, who screamed insults at the star as she left her hearing at the Court of Shame.Dunham got herself into hot water a few weeks ago for some insensitive comments she had made about abortions. On her podcast show, Women of the Hour, the star declared that while she’d never had an abortion, she wishes she had. At first, this statement was rightfully met with the criticism it deserved. Then, the internet got wind that Lena Dunham had fucked up, and social media users in their thousands rushed to the Twittersphere get in their most cruel, fierce and totally witty comments about the Girls producer.Lena Dunham is widely known for her rapid rise to fame as writer, producer, director and star of her HBO show, Girls. She also hosts the podcast show Women of the Hour, which intends to raise awareness of the work of females of every type as writers, poets, activists, business owners, and overall share the stories of the struggles and achievements of women. The episode in which Dunham made her comments was dedicated to the subject of reproductive choice in America, but unfortunately our reporters were unable to find sources, or anyone really, who knew anything else about what was said or any stories shared by women during the hour-long show.In relation to the announcement of her punishment, Dunham says she guesses she should have known she had it coming when she decided to become a successful young woman. Lena Dunham has always been a dedicated campaigner for women’s rights, especially reproductive rights, and when she was made aware of her blunder, she apologised profusely, saying: “I would never, ever intentionally trivialize the emotional and physical challenges of terminating a pregnancy”.The Court of Shame hopes that the ruling will send a message to all young women who want to make a difference in the world: That no matter how noble your efforts are, fuck up once, and we will tear you apart.