Let us Slay Forevermore: An Exposé on the University Express’ Slay Counter
By Features Editor Chloe Barrett
If you stumble around the Hub for long enough, and try a certain amount of doors, you might stumble upon the Newsroom. Situated behind the staircase that leads up to the society offices, this cosy room is, officially the home to student media. Complete with lockers and shelves, the generous room offers three tables, (usually occupied) and a whiteboard. It seems like a normal setting with students hard at work, trying to get the latest scoop that happens to be doing the rounds about campus. But if you step too closely and peer at the whiteboard, you might see something… interesting.
The Slay Counter
What on earth is a ‘slay counter’ you ask, getting rather frazzled by the sight of it? Everything is scary if you do not understand it, that is simply human instinct. Perhaps the sheer size of the whiteboard, which I have included a photograph of, might spook you. Worry not, a whiteboard and a slay counter are not mutually exclusive, you can make a slay counter out of anything if you so wish! You will also see the funny defacing that members of the team have participated in on the board, such as the SATIRE mini counters and an adorable puppy who loves mulch! Now, getting back on topic, let me take you back to the slay counter’s conception.
The infamous slay counter. Also, whoever took my marker give it back - Claire.
Claire, what can you remember of the slay counter’s birth?
I am the proud parent of the slay counter, having conceived it through immaculate conception. I remember, it was me and last year’s Sexpress Editor, Ciara Barrett, goofing around in the newsroom, and we could not stop saying the word slay. It was ridiculous, and we wanted to stop. All we had then was a measly little whiteboard sheet stuck to the wall and some half-empty markers. I drew up the slay counter to keep us in check, which of course turned saying the word slay, or simply ‘slaying’, as some people believed the counter was for, into a game. The rule was always if you simply say the word ‘slay’ then you get put on the counter. Don’t let a bitter Film or Features editor tell you otherwise.
This makes the slay counter over a year old, so don’t go citing the old magic to me, editors, I was the one that wrote it.
Essentially, if you happen to even mutter the word ‘slay’ whilst your body is in the boundaries of the newsroom, your name is banished to the board and a tally is drawn in marker alongside it. This will bring shame to your family and follow you around wherever you may go. It is impossible to hide from a reputation, you may as well embrace it. Make it a slay, if you will.
Regrettably, I have two instances of saying the forbidden word cemented upon the board (not really, it is illustrated in dry-erase whiteboard marker). There is one that I constantly contest whenever I feel the shame weigh heavy upon my shoulders, which just so happens to be constant. I was merely explaining the counter to someone who was fortunately unaware of the sick and twisted game played within the student media headquarters and used the word ‘slay’ when describing the counter itself. What a fool I was, scratch that, what a fool I am. However, my two measly tallies pale in comparison to the undeniable leader: Baneen.
Baneen is our Opinions Editor, and she is pretty damn good at her job. I could listen to her opinion on basically anything, and she is always pleased to offer it. Perhaps this is where she went wrong, the moment that she strayed from the path of righteousness and descended a slightly darker and more slay-filled street. She dominates the whiteboard with a total of - tallies and is the uncontested victor.
How do you feel about officially being crowned the slay counter winner (or loser?)
See, because I’m unsure of this being a winner or loser situation, I don’t know how to feel. If I am the winner, then I feel like a queen because I’m getting crowned. I also am happy that I am able to say the word so many times since it is a positive one, it is somehow a reflection of good things because I wouldn’t be saying it if good things were not happening, or I wasn’t feeling happy.
If this makes me a loser, well then this is testament to how the intricacy of language and literacy is declining. Gone are the days of profound monologues and prowess over the words that we say, but also Shakespeare said slay too so…
Why do you have such an affinity with saying the word ‘slay’?
I just love saying it and think it’s really fun. You can apply it to most situations, it covers a lot of ground, and it is a term that is used to sum up a lot of things ‘is it or was it not a slay?’ for example. I do use it a lot in my daily life too, again it’s a fun and easy word to throw around, people’s faces light up with a smile when you use it. The internet has a huge influence on the language we use, and I think the word slay is a consequence of me being chronically online. I would say that I use it because I genuinely do like the word, it does make me sound cooler and, overall, it is a positive word so why not.
I would say at least eight out of ten times if you happen to be strolling around and dip your head into the newsroom, Mia will be present. When she is not watching Film and TV, she can be found writing reviews of said media. As such, she is a seasoned newsroom personality, and unfortunately, her name too is written in black ink on that sinister whiteboard.
Mia, what is your opinion of the slay counter, and your singular tally that happens to be up there?
I’m so glad that you’ve given me this platform to expose the fraudulent nature of the slay counter (or s-word counter as it’s more commonly known by newsroom users). Firstly, I love the slay counter. It’s so fun to just be chatting with your friend and they say the s-word, and then you stop them and say something like, ‘Wait…what did you just say?’ and watch as it dawns on them and now they have to endure the horror of you getting up, unclicking the pen, and adding a tally next to their name. So, I think the slay counter is a great addition to the Express whiteboard. But I take issue with the fact that my name is on there with a tally next to it.
My name is only on there because I said the words ‘slay counter’ aloud while in the newsroom. I didn’t say ‘slay’ in response to something, which was the original reason you’d get a tally on the slay counter. As soon as my name was added to the board, the very existence of the slay counter was twisted into something that it was never meant to be. I’m obligated to reveal at this moment that it was our beloved editor-in-chief Claire who corrupted the slay counter in this manner. Chloe, I’m sure you can empathise with me because you got your first tally on the counter in the same way. And the same goes for Cormac and David (although I added theirs, because if this is the precedent that Claire set then of course I’m gonna continue it). So I hope that readers will take this all into consideration when they look at the final 2023/24 slay counter. I’d also like to note that our friend Kim, who is not an Express editor but is an honourary newsroom user, will often say the word ‘slay’ when in the newsroom, but since she is not part of student media, she gets one tally on her own bespoke ‘Kim on the floor counter’ instead of on the slay counter. The slay counter has this really rich backstory that I don’t think people were aware of before now.
Do you think it is a tradition that should be carried on by the next Express team?
Definitely. I just hope they don’t make the same mistakes with it that we did.
Well, that’s about it, dearest readers. Now that you are privy to the inner workings of the Express, and I have divulged the heart-stopping secret that is the slay counter, what else is there to say? It is simply my hope that our slay counter tradition might carry on to the next team that takes the mantle from us. We wish to be kept alive within the walls of the newsroom, our spirits mingling with the latest issue. Please, let us slay forevermore.
