Limericks: An Underappreciated Art Form

“There are three types of Limericks: limericks to be told when ladies are present; limericks to be told when ladies are absent but clergymen are present; and LIMERICKS." - Don Marquis. Irish literature remains today to be one of the richest, most beautiful genres within the English-speaking world. Ireland is famous for its poets: Heaney, Yeats, Kavanagh, Wilde… but it’s also famous for creating a genre that is essentially the ‘funny pages’ of the poetry world: limericks.Dating back to the 14th century, and consisting of a series of five-line stanzas, the limerick is still one of the most popular fixed-verse poetry forms around. Limericks are important historical and cultural sources, but they’re also just what they’re meant to be: funny. This week, the humour section goes back to its roots and rediscovers the tragically forgotten art form that is the limerick.1.There once was a girl from Stab City,To be fair, she was really quite prettyBut to her breeding she was trueStabbed her boyfriend in the looSuch a bure in Mountjoy, what a pity!2.There once was a boy from Ardmore,Went ‘round calling his ex-girlfriend a whore,But the feminists, they got him,With some common sense, they shot him,And now that slut-shamer’s no more.3.There once was a boy from Wesht Kerry,After cúpla pionta he’d always be merry,Soon, he got so happy,Started to believe he was Fetty Wap-yBut bless, he’s just a white lad named Terry. 4.There was a young girl from New York,Whose ancestors all came from Cork,She possessed an ideaIt was really quite queerThat human flesh, it tasted quite like pork. 5.There once was a priest from Donegal,In the square, he a ran a Holy food stall,But the Health Minister, he came“Cheese so rotten, it’d turn you lame!”Perhaps it was a bit too holey after all. 6.There was a young lass from Leedswho swallowed a bag of seeds‘til out of her asscame a blade of grassand her arse was covered in weedsUnknown author7.There once was a woman named JillWho swallowed an exploding pillThey found her vaginaIn North CarolinaAnd her tits in a tree in BrazilUnknown author8.There was a young girl named BrightHer speed was faster than lightShe set out one dayIn a relative wayAnd returned the previous nightUnknown Author9.‘Twas a crazy old man called O'KeefeWho caused local farmers much griefTo their cows he would runCut their legs off for funAnd say "Look, I've invented ground beef!"Unknown AuthorSend your limericks to humour@uccexpress.ie.