Local man has to lie down after friend ‘pops by’ unexpectedly

A local man has had to lie down for a bit following a home visit from a friend, who thought it would be a “nice idea” to show up without any warning.John McCarthy, 22, who lives in the Mardyke area, was left ‘shook’ after a childhood friend arrived on his doorstep, unannounced, on Tuesday afternoon. The friend in-question proceeded to make small talk and, according to John, pressure him into inviting them inside for “a cup of tea and a chat.”“Without being melodramatic about it, it was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced,” Mr. McCarthy revealed to members of this publication, “I mean, not only did they not warn me, but they rang the doorbell three times while I was putting my pants on.”The friend in question was Ciara Vincent, also 22, a recent graduate of NUI Galway and former primary school classmate of John’s. According to reports, Ms. Vincent seemed completely oblivious to her social faux-pas, and even slowly edged towards the front door, which Mr. McCarthy was guarding while they spoke on his doorstep. When approached for a statement explaining herself, Ciara had the following to say:“Well, I’ve moved back from Galway for a few weeks, and I hadn’t seen John in so long, so I thought I’d call in to him for a cup of tea and a catch-up. I always used to call to his house when we were younger.”“Of course we used to call to each other’s houses unannounced in the late 90s,” Mr. McCarthy countered, “but nowadays, frankly, it’s a barbaric practice from a bygone era. We have phones now; and the internet. There’s no excuse for not letting someone know when you’re in the area, so they can choose whether they want to see you or not. That’s called ‘common decency’.”John also lamented having to give up his “last bit” of milk so that Ciara could have a cup of tea, and has considered suing for damages, specifically those inflicted on his right to enjoy a cup of tea most would consider overly milky. The stress of being forced by social convention to wear pants while greeting visitors has also taken its toll, with Mr. McCarthy claiming that he felt unduly restricted in his own home. Moreover, there were dirty dishes in the sink, and he claims he “saw Ciara looking at them.”The visit, according to Ciara, was “very pleasant” and she even had the cheek to thank John for his “generosity” in letting her stay and chat for three quarters of an hour, as if she hadn’t single-handedly destroyed his faith in humanity by doing so. Mr McCarthy has been lying down in an effort to collect his thoughts since the incident.

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