Making sense of Pushy Parents and the youth sport-industrial complex
By Jack Kelly (Deputy Sports Editor)
Take a trip to any sports complex in the country on any given Saturday or Sunday morning. You might find an under-11 tennis match between school friends, an under-9’s rugby training session or perhaps the local GAA club has its various volunteers immersed in training the clubs academy. All sounds good, right? Nothing to see here except for girls and boys playing the sport they love under adult supervision. However, one almost guaranteed constant is the looming presence of the parent that has their child pigeon-holed to become the next generational star in their chosen or sometimes, more aptly, assigned sport. Screaming aloud a concoction of support and criticism while the more passive, measured parents look on bemused.
It is fair to say that we have all encountered variations of this parent at some stage. Whether it be in a pub listening to someone wax lyrical about their son who will ‘go to England someday’ to play for a Premier League outfit or whether it's the parent whose voice booms louder than all as their son or daughter is engrossed in a game yet remains conscious of the hawk-like watchful eyes. Of course, this is partly human nature. The parents' natural instincts are to protect and serve the kids' efforts to succeed. It is not an offence to support one's children but it is imperative to question where the line is drawn between encouragement and obsession and to investigate the pernicious effects of this adult driven pursuit of stardom. What creates this culture of ‘win at all costs’ at underage level?
When considering the harmful effects of ‘pushy parents’, it is crucial to ask why this happens. Naturally, one answer would be parents living vicariously through their kids. Without being too reductive, it is difficult for parents to separate themselves from the idea that a part of their DNA is doing something they love at a level they could not. Perhaps, it could be argued that this is a rather pure form of the ‘pushy parent’ and that it is simply the amalgamation of a person's two loves right before their eyes: their child and their sport.
As mentioned, the parent’s instinct is to be involved in the child’s life. Rather conversely, the kid’s instinct is to seek independence. This creates a battle between nurture and independence. These two are clearly not compatible.
A great place to investigate the omnipresence of overbearing parents in sport is America. We are all aware of the astronomical college tuition fees in the United States and as much as we bemoan the fees we must pay on this side of the world, we must empathise with those across the Atlantic and the cost of third level education they must endure. In October 2022, Education data revealed that the average cost of tuition for college in the US is $25,707 a year or $102, 828 over four years. With sport and academic scholarships available, it is a well known fact that there is a culture of kids being viewed as an investment while they are in high school. Parents will pump thousands of dollars into the child’s athletic development in the hope of getting the Holy Grail of free college fees. Marketing also has a part to play here. The dream is presented and sold to parents that their child could be the next Tiger Woods or Serena Williams. This investment naturally leads to pressure on an undeveloped mind and body. They receive organised coaching, but at what cost?
There are ‘schools’ across the world that are set up under the guise of nurturing athletic and academic excellence but it is fair to question whether this balance is struck. Do they develop as humans? Are they socialised? Staying with the US, let's look at Nick Bollettieri’s academy. Bollettieri was in the thick of the tennis coaching boom during the 1970’s and coached ten players who were No.1 in the world at some point of their career including Boris Becker, Andre Agassi, Maria Sharapova and the Williams sisters. His academy was established in 1978 and was unique because it was the first live-in, open year-round institute to nurture athletes.
Having been a paratrooper himself, Bollettieri relished playing the drill sergeant role. There are tales of Bollettieri issuing harsh comments to his athletes about everything from sloppy strokes to training habits to fitness. Hardly an example of progressive coaching. Furthermore, what must it be like for kids to be pushed into this bubble that is nothing other than a pressure cooker for athletic development? Having to live under constant scrutiny as an athlete ‘pre-determined’ for success, without the tools to cope. This ‘mature’ athlete is used as the example in defence of this strategy but consider the countless broken souls left to fall by the wayside.
Bollettieri’s academy is not an outlier. There are numerous academies around the world that have one goal: squeeze the most out of these kids' potential in exchange for lots of money and glory.
However, there are academies in professional sport that seem to be more interested in the development of the player as a person and athlete. A great example of this is FC Barcelona’s youth academy La Masia. At La Masia the kids receive schooling on and off the pitch as they learn the club’s famous philosophy of play as well as keeping the club’s Catalan roots. Local and international talent were guided through the academy and developed technical skills and football intelligence unmatched anywhere else in the world (Lionel Messi, Sergio Busquets, Xavi etc.) In this environment, the players are picked based on their ability at a given age and have the opportunity to learn and flourish as footballers and people. Contrast this with the likes of Nick Bollettieri’s academy where the motivation to succeed comes from a less pure place and only the kids with the wealthy families are given the chance to experience a high level of coaching. In other words, the child’s potential development is dependent on a transaction.
Barcelona’s development model of patiently supporting up and coming talent was heavily influenced by the Dutch model brought to the club by Johan Cruyff. Even to this day the Dutch model of youth development is paving the way for progress.
Dutch legend Dennis Bergkamp was quizzed about youth development recently and made a profound point that maybe coaches and parents are missing. ‘The only team that needs to win trophies is the first team. The youth teams don’t need to win, they just need to make their players better.’ Before going on to say ‘So in the end you have not just a complete player, but a person who is good for others, who means something to the world.’
It goes without saying that kids want to be the best they can be too and sometimes want to be thrown into pressurised environments but that is where sensible adults must step in and make a decision in the child's best interest. With that said, the issue of when players are thrusted into the first teams of their clubs must be acknowledged.
Recently we all marvelled at the success of young Irish man Evan Ferguson. Ferguson was playing for Bohemians FC at the age of 14 and is now playing Premier League football. Nevermind the obvious physiological differences between a 14 year old and a grown man but what about the short sightedness of putting him into an adult environment at that age? An environment where even those much older and wiser find it tough to deal with.
The notion of ‘if you’re good enough, you’re old enough’ is an outdated ideal now considering the everyday scrutiny of modern athletes and the advances in sport science. Unprecedented levels of strength and power tip the scale in favour of the fully developed athlete over the teenager to the point where it is dangerous.
Ultimately, sport is play and that is what makes it so universally beloved in every corner of the world. Does underage sport have to be this way? No, let kids find their sport and fall in love with it. As pro golfer Stacey Lewis said ‘No one needs to be the best in the world at 14.’
