On the other side of shame (BODY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL) by Alok

on the other side of shame, BODY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL.

on the other side of shame, i am here — hairy, feminine, powerful!

because my white classmates used to call me a monkey
because when my sister’s arm hair grew she was called a man
because the indian aunties used to chide each other for not plucking
because i was taught that something there to help me was somehow unhygienic?
(as if there is nothing more unhygienic than racism + transmisogyny)

because i used to secretly shave my arms, my legs, my chest, my groin, my pits, my everything
because i burned and itched all over, became so skilled at concealing the cuts
because i never took my shirt off in public until i was 20 years old
because they called me a beast
(because i believed them)

because my mother’s biggest fear of aging was that she would no longer be able to remove her facial hair
because when i told her i was trans she said no one would believe me because i was “so hairy”
because when i came out my community told me i should “at least shave” to be taken seriously
because women and men yell at me on the street telling me to “shave if i’m gonna dress like that”

because indian people harass me the most for it
because they say the same things to me that were said to them
(because i know these intimate cuts,
how deep they sting)

because every day online i have people tell me that i am disgusting and deserve to die
because the women, they don’t want to look like me
because the men, they don’t want to look like me
because it doesn’t matter —
because i’d rather be me than beautiful
because i’d rather be me than their beautiful
because i’d rather be my own beautiful