Single Girl Rants

Anon.

 I wanna see your peacock ,cock, cock, your peacock…not tonight. You’ve all seen Bridget Jones, the story of a thirty something desperado of a girl trying to find Mr. Right. Well this is nothing like that. This is about a twenty-something student trying to figure out if there are any decent guys in UCC or the surrounding area. This has come about simply because this girl has encountered one too many Daniel Cleavers and no Mark Darcy’s. I do not want a husband, I don’t even know if I want a boyfriend. What I do know is what I don’t want. I don’t want a guy who is really only after me to get me into bed. I don’t want a guy who only contacts me when he is drunk. I don’t want a dickhead. Don’t get me wrong I’m not a prude, there’s many a Mr.Cleaver who could vouch for that. I’ve just kissed too many frogs now.So this is me:

• Blonde
• 63 kg (for now)
• 5”3 (-ish)
• Final of 4 years in college (hopefully)
• And most importantly – Single.

My friends describe me as “small and blonde with big boobs”. I’m never sure whether to take this as an insult or a compliment. I’d like to think there’s more to me than a hair colour and the size bra I wear. Yes I may have made the decision to dye my hair blonde and yes I choose what I wear to suit or highlight my figure. Does this make me vain? I don’t think so. I didn’t aspire to be called “small, blonde with big boobs”. No guy wants the fat, shy, greasy haired girl in the corner wearing something hideous and unflattering. That’s life. Even animals in the wild use various forms of physical attraction to attract a mate. Take the most obvious example, a peacock. We all “peacock” when we go out. I put on makeup. I use fake tan. I wear clothes one might describe as short and tight. I don’t wear any less or more than every other girl in the club. I’m not going to go out if I don’t believe that I look good.  I try and draw attention to myself. I want to set myself apart from every other girl in the club. To put it simply, I’m hoping to get the shift. Isn’t everyone?We don’t go to all this trouble if we are not trying to impress someone. My problem? I only impress all the wrong guys. I don’t dress like or act like a slut so why treat me like one? Why does every night of mine end with some guy trying desperately to convince me into returning to his humble abode?  I decline and it turns to “Oh, I can come to yours if that’s easier?” No, just no. It’s not going to happen. I’m not in the habit of bringing guys home after just meeting them.Growing up aren’t we always taught that we should withhold our lady charms in order to nab ourselves a man? It doesn’t seem to work that way, in college anyway. Guys don’t seem to want to work for anything when they can simply go out another night and get it from some other girl. Seems to me that for every girl saying no and going home alone in a taxi there are four other girls who will happily take the same guy home to satisfy his needs. Don’t get me wrong here. Girls have needs too and why shouldn’t we do what the guys do to satisfy these needs. But still I just can’t bring myself to “slut” it up. I won’t do one night stands, it’s just not in my nature. I try not to judge girls who partake in this one night stand adventure but I slightly do. I just think it’s about self-respect and gaining the respect of guys. I want a guy to like me for more than sex. Call me old fashioned or a prude but I can’t see myself changing. Just because I peacock it up a little doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into bed with you. So next time you text me asking if we are having sex tonight, if I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve met you,  don’t expect a reply.