Teresa Mannion: Woman vs. Wild.

In an effort to create their annual viral smash-hit, RTÉ sends Teresa Mannion into the wild to see what happens. She’s at it again - the nation’s favourite Regional Reporter for the Midwest is back in action. No longer reporting on the stormy weather of Connacht that launched her television career, Teresa Mannion ventures out to the desolate landscape of the Kalahari Desert to discover what one of the world’s most godforsaken locations has to offer.The Express gained exclusive access to an interview with the Galway-born star before she began filming. Mannion, who admitted that, while she has minimal survival knowledge, she’s always fancied herself as “a bit of a Bear Grylls.”This is undoubtedly true. Readers may remember Mannion’s expedition to Galway last year, where she trekked bravely through the harsh weather of Storm Desmond to deliver the report that sent her viral. Courageous as ever, the star has vowed that she will live in the desert as authentically as possible, taking with her no food and no water, just the trusty Northface raincoat that served her so well while previously reporting on dangerous weather conditions.Woman vs. Wild sent the Twittersphere into disarray on Monday night when, during the first five minutes of the show, Mannion savagely bit into the head of the venomous Puff Adder. One Twitter user wrote - ‘Teresa Mannion, #somewoman’. Others chimed in, adding: ‘I’d like to see Bear Grylls try that!’; ‘Teresa Mannion is one hard fucker’; and ‘Didn’t they say that snake was poisonous?’.Other highlights from the show include Mannion’s unsuccessful attempts to start a fire in sub-zero nighttime temperatures using only a stone and some twigs, plus wandering, dehydrated, through the desert for four hours, following a mirage of a water source.Of course, the whole of the nation was on the edge of its seat waiting for the star to repeat her winning catch-phrase that launched her into superstardom last year. After momentarily falling unconscious, Mannion’s cameraman was able to revive her, muttering “They say if you want water, you’ve got to do the line.”And finally, the moment we were all waiting for arrived. Always one for the dramatics, Teresa’s voice was not much more than a croaky whisper as she stared haggardly into the camera. “Don’t make unnecessary journeys… don’t take risks o-”. Unfortunately, the star was interrupted by the eruption of some black-coloured vomit from her mouth. Experts say this was possibly caused by Mannion’s ingestion of the venomous snake, or possibly a number of nefarious berries she had found earlier in the show.RTÉ left viewers on a cliffhanger and ended the show there, but once again Twitter was alight with rave reviews. ‘Hilarious,’ said one user. ‘Better than most of the shite on RTÉ these days’. Others speculated excitedly about Teresa’s whereabouts- ‘Can’t wait for next week!! #WomanvsWild’; ‘what the fuck’; ‘Please someone help this woman’.RTÉ has yet to comment on the success of Woman vs. Wild, but it’s safe to say they’ve found their next big hit.

Previous
Previous

Dealing with Refugees and Integration - Isle of Hope: A Social Innovation Start-up by UCC Students

Next
Next

24K Magic: Bruno Mars