The alternative to resolutions | Annie Hoey

Features Editor Annie Hoey provides another option to the traditional New Year adjustments.

 I have a confession. I don’t do affection terribly well. It makes me rather nervous. It is something I am going to try and work on for the year. Try to be a little more affectionate and stop snarling my lip every time I witness affection or human contact is mentioned (it really does make me shudder). Interestingly enough when I have a few drinks on me I can be the most affectionate person alive (a little too affectionate some might say but sure they don’t know a good thing when they see it!). I am sure some psychology student out there could offer all sorts of psychoanalytical reasons for that- I had a bad relationship with my first childhood pet and I never felt accepted for who I was at school because I wore a yellow dress one day (all of which are a lie- I wouldn’t be caught dead in yellow, it washes out my complexion). But we are not here to discuss the whys or hows of my love/hate (read: drunk/sober) relationship with showing human affection or being less sarky when I witness it. Instead I am going to talk about my own personal version of New Years Resolutions.I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions per se - why set yourself up for the inevitable failure? Which is then followed by the guilt (oh the Catholic bred Irish guilt!!) as you resume smoking 60 cigarettes a day/eating two dozen custard creams in one session/fling your gym clothes to the back of the closet where the nasty buggers belong. Nah, been there done that. What I prefer to do is to try and set myself little goals for the year as opposed to full blown life-altering resolutions (those flippin’ dumbbells are still in the wrapping).Simple things like trying to remember to take a multi-vitamin everyday, take my make up off after a night out, dye my hair a different colour before the year is out, and other such ridiculously easy things. I write them all down and then tick them off as I go along. And I can add to the list as the year goes on. Last year I decided around Easter that by summer I would have gotten over my fear of the dentist. And I did. In fact I went a bit far and went off to Turkey and spent half my holiday getting my whole set of gnashers done. Let it not be said that I do things by half!Midway through the year I also decided I would get over my fear of deep water. So I flung myself off a yacht into the Aegean Sea and swam for dear life. And I didn’t drown. So goals and ideas can be added as the year goes on. And there is something mightily satisfying about ticking things off. There is always an unwritten goal to actually complete the goal list!I have been doing this goal list for about 8 years now. I usually don’t tell people what is on the list unless it comes up in conversation. I really enjoy looking back over my lists from years ago and cringing/blanching at some of the things I put on it. Such things like get my nose pierced (disaster! I got it done in a really dodgy place in Dublin. They pierced it with a gun and subsequently broke my nose), try absinthe (drank too much, fell over and hit my head, resulting in massive bleed to the brain, near death and emergency surgery), get a tattoo (it is misspelled- it says “absotutely” instead of “absolutely”), kiss more people (caught glandular fever), learn to walk in heels (I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my foot) and so on so forth in terms of rather unfortunate goals.On the other hand I had some great ones: move away from home (and here I am still in Cork 8 years later), graduate (not going to lie- this has a been on the list a few times), live abroad for a while (admittedly it was in a tent for 5 months in Amsterdam but it was fantastic nonetheless), meet my favourite author (I cried. Like a baby. It was marvellous), go to a TEDX Talk (where I consequently met my favourite author), get more involved in the social side of college life and societies (need I say more??), and lots and lots of other things which have really helped shape the person I am today.I also like looking at the list and reflecting on the person I was at the time of initially writing the list, and the person I ended up being at the end of each year. The sort of goals I put down for the year really gave an indication of the place I was at with my life at the time. One year, after a particularly difficult time for both me and my family, the list had a lot of things like going out and making new friends, learn to open up to people more, start taking care of myself and not always putting others first, and other such things that were really important in getting me out of that rut in my life and helping me move forward as a person.My list this year is very different- there are a lot sillier things on it (paintballing anyone?) and goals that are not as ‘serious’ as previous years. And I am happy with that. My lists over the years show how I have grown and changed as a person - I have moved on from a priority on my list being trying a new type of alcohol to things like getting over my adverse reaction to people showing me affection!So I am not suggesting that you abandon your New Year’s resolutions- more power to you if you can stick to them. Instead, what I am tentatively offering you is something a little different to try out. Sit down with a piece of paper. Have a brainstorm on the things you would like to achieve this year. They need not be massive goals (trying avocado was hardly the most outstanding thing I have done to date) but try and make them at least a little bit challenging (but not too challenging- it was really rather difficult to pull off a brief career as a burlesque artist without my parents finding out). Put the list somewhere safe. Look at it every now and again and see how you are doing. It is a wonderfully grounding experience to look at what you hoped to do/achieve a couple of months back and how you are getting on in getting closer to completing that goal. Add things to the list as they come to you. And don’t be afraid to take things off the list either! As determined as I was to get a Mohawk it would have been a terrible idea and I would have regretted it immediately (I kept it on the list for a while anyway until I came to my senses). Enjoy the fun of having a little set of goals (goals that do not involve the resolution stereotype of losing 300 pounds/quitting smoking those lovely Cuban cigars/ taking up avian-inspired martial arts, etc). Keep it simple and personal to you.I am not going to reveal everything I have on my list for this year. For now I am just going to say that I am looking forward to a day sometime in 2013 when I can see a couple in love and canoodling without having to worry about the wind changing at that exact moment and thus the look of sheer and utter disgust being permanently trapped on my face forever. Happy list making!