The Apple Vision Pro Scares Me
By Features Editor Chloe Barret
Unboxing videos are something that I have found myself concerningly drawn towards. I love it when the reviewer puts on some soothing music and aesthetically takes a brand new iPhone out of its packaging. Usually, they tap their nails on the box and delicately peel off the thin piece of plastic that covers the phone’s screen. I love it. Massive bonus if they do a little ‘setting up my new phone’ portion of the video, which always inevitably ends with a device outfitted in gorgeous little widgets. Do they put a case on their new phone? A screen protector? I hope so! Maybe I am just easy to please, but as someone who has never had an interest in ASMR, I am glad to have found my satisfying niche. Now, picture my surprise as I scroll through the seemingly endless selection of recommended videos on my YouTube Home Screen, and see a new product being advertised.
The Apple Vision Pro.
The most recent device that has come onto the market is the Apple Vision Pro. If you cannot tell by the name, it is a product by Apple, that essentially is a type of Virtual Reality headset. You pop the device onto the general area of your face / head, and suddenly you are transported into the universe of gaming. You are no longer able to see the room that you are standing in. Instead, all around you is a fictional world, many of which you can interact with through games. This is where the, quite frankly, insane game that is known as VRChat was born. Do you want to cosplay as an anime girl avatar while some forty-year-old unemployed man from the States tries to harass you virtually? Then welcome to VRChat! At least we got the Ugandan Knuckles meme from it, I guess. Anyway, over the past few years, the market has seen a lot of virtual reality consoles. Because the concept itself is still quite new, at least in the grand scheme of things, companies are constantly competing against each other to get the latest technology included in their next product, even if that is in one year and renders the previous installment all but void. As of now, the latest gaming headsets will set you back roughly between $300-$700, depending on what model and bundle you choose from.
Ugandan Knuckles from VRChat. Photo from Crispy Toast / Youtube.
Recently, Apple have decided to enter this new market themselves, with their proud invention: the Apple Vision Pro. Now, this headset will set you back a charming $3,499. No, that is not a typo of an extra 9 right there, that is the actual price. When you hear the mention of Apple as a brand, it is more than likely synonymous with ‘pricey’ within your brain, but this is truly something else. The headset allows you to essentially have an Apple interface overlaying your physical surroundings, like the photo displayed below. There are no handheld remotes, like other brands offer, instead it relies on your eyes and hand gestures to access menus and operate the device in general. Sounds absolutely wonderful! Now, dear reader, you are probably pondering: why on earth is Features Editor Chloe (trademarked) afraid of this new product?
Can you imagine sitting in a cafe, just reading a book, and suddenly you glance up and see a fellow human with what seemingly appears to be a scuba eye mask on? I believe that is terrifying! Put yourself in the shoes of that poor barista who has to serve this man who paid over three grand in order to appear futuristic. It is insane! Then he toddles over, with frankly poor spatial awareness, sits himself down, and just absently moves his head, looking at some invisible widget that, for him, is floating in the air. Oh, he is raising his hand! Is he waving at you? Nope. He is just scrolling through the Apple Vision Pro menu, do not worry, it is an easy mistake to make. Honest to God, just use your iPhone, or a laptop! We are literally walking ourselves into a Black Mirror scenario far too willingly for my liking.
The Google Glass
I used to think that technology was supposed to become smaller and more efficient as the years went on. Apparently not, because remember the Google glasses, or even Snapchat’s version? Now we have goggles that weigh half a kilogram squeezing your head. Needless to say, I will not be watching unboxing videos of the headset, no matter how aesthetic and relaxing I am gaslit into believing it will be.
