We are Not Monsters - Remembering to love in these dark times.
By Claire Watson
We are now entering into the darkest time of the year. For Ireland, this generally means short days swollen with storms. The patter of droplets that were once gentle white-noise, now become torrential battering, that invite a period of sleepless nights. When we get to this time of year, we can find ourselves feeling low and wanting nothing more than to sink beneath our duvets and sleep off this darkness. Stuck inside, in bed but not resting, there’s nothing easier to do than to doom-scroll. We’re swiping through Twitter, TikTok, Tumblr, Facebook, and Instagram, endlessly falling down rabbit-holes of media that only worsen our moods. Doom-scrolling is the repeated ingestion of negative news. We feel that politicians aren’t listening to us, that our world is burning, the far-right is encroaching, that doomsday is coming. Doom-scrolling lets us think that the world is evil, and beyond repair, and further we sink into our depressive states.
But, the rain is still beautiful. Do you ever wonder where the rain soaking through your clothes came from? We all learn as children that the sun warms up the ocean and its supply is sucked into the sky, forming clouds. The clouds get cold, and burst, and the rain falls down to Earth. Think about that for a moment. Actually, think about it. What have those drops of rain seen? They’ve come from oceans, travelled across lands, coursed through rivers, over and over, just to make their way to you. I hope that whoever is reading this, is warm and safe. It may be wet outside, but inside you can bury yourself beneath a pile of fluffy blankets. Feel those threads on your skin. Sink into your mattress. There’s no shame in resting, so pour yourself another cup of tea. Someone invented and made these blankets, duvets, cushions, teas, hot chocolates and all things toasty, to keep you nice and cosy. It may be dark outside, but it can be bright here.
You can’t get rid of all the cold and darkness, but you can make this little patch of the world warm and bright, and if everyone strives to make a patch of the world a better place, then we should be living on the happiest planet in the universe. The world is terrifying, we often feel completely helpless in the grand scheme of things. It makes us get all nihilistic, thinking that the world is burning and there’s nothing we can do to fix it. What we sometimes need is a reduction. All these issues, from climate change to transphobia, are connected. All these little patches are connected. Focusing your attention on one issue, does not mean that you are ignoring others. Ursula Wolfe-Rocca writes on Twitter, “[I]f your little corner of work involves pulling at one of the threads, you’re helping to unravel the whole damn cloth.” Take a weight off of your shoulders and understand that you are not here to fix all of the world’s problems by yourself. At the end of the day, we are a community of people, working together to knit our patches together, into one big, happy quilt.
Sally Rooney’s Beautiful World Where are You captures this feeling of debility in a world on fire. The novel divulges the personal worldviews of Eileen and Alison through an epistolary format, with emails used to discuss the character’s opinions on various topics. The subjects these women discuss are broad, but all come with a personal stake. The topic of religion is sparked by Eileen’s impromptu attendance at mass, while a discussion of the climate crisis is sparked by Alice, as she expresses her guilt of shopping unsustainably. I don’t want to spoil this novel for those that haven’t read it, but one line has always stuck with me. Eileen writes to Alison, explaining how she felt the most emotionally stable when she kept a journal and noted down the things she saw and experienced in her day-to-day life. She says, “There was something delicate about living like that - like I was an instrument and the world touched me and reverberated inside me.” It was this action of writing, and of observance, that grounded her.
Instagram infographics could never get the idea of mindfulness into my head. No amount of yoga or meditation could cure that feeling of helplessness for me. Forming the habit of stopping to observe the world, rather than pass through and dwell on the bad news on your phone, is uplifting. You may read this and cringe, but I advise everyone to empty their minds and simply absorb the world, even just for a few seconds. As you walk across campus, watch the leaves fall and splatter on the ground. Look for those extra-crispy leaves, and relish as they crunch beneath your feet. I like to people-watch, reminding oneself that everyone’s just got their own lifes going on, is refreshing. A few days ago, I watched an elderly woman pull out a loaf of bread and begin feeding the pigeons on the Grand Parade. The smile of delight on her face as the birds began to circle round, was just gorgeous.
It’s through people-watching that I’ve begun to unlearn that humans are hostile and out to get each other. We are social beings that naturally flock together, forming loving communities across the world. It still amazes me when strangers say “how are you?” and don’t simply mean it as “hello.” In observing the world, you notice humanity’s goodness. You see the random acts of kindness, not as they happen to you, and realise that they’re not so random after all. Watching strangers be kind to other strangers is inspiring.
There may be horrible things and horrible people in this world, but for the most part I think all people want is the best for each other. I took to social media and asked people to share stories of strangers showing them kindness.
One responder writes, “after getting rained on and splashed by a bus, and all my paper bags were ripped from water, I missed my train by a minute and had to wait an hour for the next. The barista at the station coffee shop gave me a hot chocolate for free because he ‘knew I needed it.’” They continue, “it was so nice and so needed that the next time I was in I left him a box of chocolates. Everytime he was working after that, and I was at the train station, he always gave me my drink on the house.”
“In first year when I was going home for the weekend, I missed my bus. I decided to then walk up the hill, behind the Kane to get a bus to the train station. I was really stressed, and I had this giant gear-bag with all my stuff in it. A man asked if I was going up the hill and he offered to carry my bag up the hill, and when we got to the top he stopped my bus driver and helped me carry my bag onto the bus.”
Another contributor writes, “the first time I parallel parked in town I was super nervous. I parked behind a guy moving stuff out of a loading van. When I got out of the car he gave me a huge smile and said ‘Absolutely unreal parking there!’ I was buzzing all day.”
The injustices that occur in this world daily are monstrosities, but we, the ordinary people, are not ourselves monsters. We often find ourselves lost in a confusing whirlwind of negativity, with fear-mongering and harmful conspiracies, but it’s essential that we take care of ourselves and of each other. As Waymond Wong says in the masterpiece that is Everything Everywhere All at Once, “the only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don’t know what’s going on.” Kindness and pacifism are often portrayed as weaknesses, but really they are our greatest strengths. This dark time of year can be hard for many. The freedoms and joys of summer have been and gone, and we’re left shivering in the dark. But we can be each other’s warmth. Let yourself exist, and then let yourself live. There will be days where the best thing you can do is get through it, and that is immensely powerful. You’re strong, you’re bright, and you’re loved. Whoever is reading this, and whoever isn’t; you are a wonderful human being.