What Does UCC Wish They Learned In Sex Ed?A Collaboration With UCC FemSoc
By Ciara Barrett (Sexpress Editor)
February 27th- March 1st was dubbed Sex Week by UCC Feminist Society, and so they took to campus to find out what exactly UCC students wished they had learned in Sex Ed. Submissions came in from countless students across campus. In this issue, I’m going to share the highlights and explain exactly how poor sex education has impacted us as a whole.
A big topic that was explored with this campaign was vaginas, with multiple students agreeing that they were never actually taught about the anatomy of a vagina. Several people of all genders agreed that they weren’t actually aware of how many parts a vagina had, including one submission which read “I thought you peed out of your vagina.” The lack of education on vaginal anatomy was also cited as playing a large role in why people with vaginas don’t always enjoy sex. We’re never taught what parts are supposed to feel good and which parts are not meant for sexual activity. The negative effects of this are significant. The lack of understanding on the anatomy of a vagina can be a massive cause of excruciating UTI’s, and many people with vaginas left feeling as though they’re “broken” for struggling to orgasm or just not enjoying sex.
Staying on vaginas, discharge and vaginal health were common denominators in what people wished they had learned in their RSE classes. Several people discussed never even hearing the word in schools, and living in fear during their teenage years thinking that they had somehow magically contracted an STI from a toilet seat (which is not possible, by the way). The lack of education on vaginal health can be a really scary and embarrassing experience for people with vaginas in their teenage years. When things like that aren’t discussed, it’s hard to be the one to start the conversation. The culture of shame surrounding vaginal health stems from the fact that we are never told that it’s normal for these things to happen. One submission said it best, “I wish I had learned that vaginal itching and painful urination can just be a UTI, not an STI.”
LGBTQ+ Sexual Education was another very common theme across the campaign, with submissions varying from “I wish I had learned that trans people exist!” to “How does gay sex work?”. While many Irish people consider us a progressive nation, we continue to see a lot of influence from the Catholic Church in education. MA Women’s Studies student and Feminist Society Campaigns Officer Chloe Boland informed those involved with the campaign that while Ireland is definitely improving in certain areas, the creation of the new SPHE and RSE curriculums for primary schools was overseen by a panel of Catholic bishops, and they have included that while they acknowledge the existence of the LGBTQ+ community, it is still considered a sin within the Catholic Church. The curriculum summary in full can be found on the National Council for Curriculum and Assessment (NCCA) website. A massive lack of comprehensive and inclusive sexual education is a prevalent flaw in our system, and something we need to discuss more and fight to introduce. There was a large variety of topics brought to the forefront in the discussion of LGBTQ+ sexual education, ranging from broader topics such as the fact that asexuality is a valid sexuality, to more specific topics such as how to prepare for sex with things such as douching. The lack of education on how to actually have sex as a member of the LGBTQ+ community is extremely harmful, as many people had to turn to unrealistic portrayals of sex in porn to learn what it was they could actually do.
Building off of LGBTQ+ sex, HIV was a very important part of the conversation. The general consensus surrounding HIV and sex education was the need for clarification that HIV is not just a ‘gay thing’, but something that everyone should be cautious of when participating in any sexual activity. The idea that HIV only impacts gay men is an extremely outdated and exclusionary view, and has proven to be exceedingly harmful to people of all sexualities and gender identities. It was raised that the importance of education surrounding HIV and the medications we have available for it today should not be framed as something that only applies to gay and bisexual men, but to everyone, and not just when discussing sex. Perpetuating the idea that HIV is inherently sexual and only affects gay men puts so many people at risk, and does nothing in terms of harm reduction or awareness.
As well as HIV, the topic of porn came into play in the discussion of LGBTQ+ sex education and beyond. Sex education continually proves itself to be lacking on both the sex side of things and in the education aspect. Many people found themselves turning to porn to learn what it was they should be doing during sex, especially those who could not participate in the style of sex which emphasised sex as a task for procreation. It was agreed upon by all students that while (ethically made) porn can be fun to watch, it is quite simply not realistic, and doesn’t portray sex the way that it is in real life. An important part of the conversation surrounding porn pertained to fetishisation within porn, primarily surrounding the fetishisation of people of colour. This perpetuates the harmful stereotype that people of colour, and primarily black women, are inherently hypersexual. While a large part of this stems from people feeling as though they need to watch porn to learn about sex, it can also be attributed in no small part to the ‘alpha male’ influencers taking over the internet bit by bit, and encouraging the idea that we can learn everything we need to know about sex from watching heteronormative porn littered with poorly depicted elements of BDSM.
An important topic that was spoken about an awful lot was consent. Many students did not remember learning anything about consent after junior infants, where they were taught about personal space. Consent is possibly one of the most important and incredibly overlooked aspects of sexual education. Students agreed that college is too late to open the conversation of consent, and while organisations such as ACTIVE* Consent do incredible work on college campuses across the country, it can be too little too late by the time we get to university. Consent needs to be a key point on the RSE curriculum, spanning from junior infants to sixth year. Any conversations students could recall that were even tangentially related to consent generally took place in single sex girls schools, and manifested as thinly veiled victim blaming, teaching what female presenting people should do to avoid being sexually assaulted.
While there were many more key points brought up in the discussion on what we should have been taught, the final one I want to touch on here is education surrounding pleasure, masturbation, and orgasms. Only one person recalled ever being taught that pleasure and masturbation are good things, and that sex and sexual arousal are not solely tied to reproduction. Many stressed the need for education on how to masturbate safely, including what is safe to use and how to ensure that it’s a pleasurable experience. Others tied this back to the anatomy of vaginas, and how the internet's running joke on the struggle to find the clitoris could easily be solved by education on anatomy and pleasure centres. Sex is often taught as a chore, and something that’s necessary for reproduction. People want to see the focus shifted from pro-creation to pleasure, and a tool to enjoy yourself, express feelings for people, and relieve stress.
The list only goes on, including topics such as pregnancy, contraception, gender identity, illnesses such as endometriosis, and many more. It’s clear that the way we teach sexual education needs a complete overhaul, and students' voices must be at the forefront of that. Negativity and shame surrounding sex and sexual health is detrimental to people of all ages, sexualities, and gender identities, and it’s time that we stand up and bring this to light.
