What to wear when you’re single on Valentine’s Day

by Kellie Murphy (Fashion Editor)

  I want to preface this with a reminder that single women are the happiest people on the planet. According to a behavioural scientist Paul Dolan, unmarried and childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population, while men enjoy more benefits from marriage including a higher wage and increased life expectancy. Women have a lower life expectancy then those who remained unmarried and never had children. So, in short if you’re a he/him reading this, sorry that you’re missing out, and if you’re a she/her, just be happy if you’re single and lonely on Valentine’s day, at least you can live just a bit longer to feel even more miserable about it. Personally, I love being alone on Valentine’s Day. I take comfort in the fact that Valentine's day feeds into capitalism, urging people to spend an extraordinary amount of money for no other reason then they might love someone, and everyone else is doing the same. One day you’re sending dry texts to someone whose tactical Tinder photos you admired and the next you’re trying to paper mâché a box into existence at two in the morning because apparently if you delve into arts and crafts it means you love them more. Stay safe out there. I would prefer to stay single and wait for the Valentine’s day sales (where I can safely stock up on chocolate and more gift sets of body wash that even the last-minute shoppers didn’t want) but others might not feel so positive, or indifferent, about Valentine's Day. 

  Valentine’s Day has long been lauded as a day that celebrates love and for individuals its meant to be a day to celebrate your relationship with your partner. But Valentine’s Day can often create complicated feelings for people, one of the reasons being the celebration of relationships. The image of Valentine’s day that is perpetuated in social media and Hollywood can often make those who have low self esteem and mental health issues feel lonely as it highlights how alone they may feel. Mind reports that people with low self-esteem on Valentine’s day can often feel distressed as it presents idealised and romanticised relationships which you inevitably measure yourself against, and could make you feel unworthy of these relationships. There’s also the fact that Valentine’s day feeds into consumerism, where the primary, and ideal expression of love is gift giving. Combined with the reasonable expectation of heartfelt, love filled comments and the near obligatory gifts of chocolate, jewellery and cards can be pretty taxing on your bank account. This all takes place in one day where your efforts are revealed to your significant other as the pinnacle of love which in my opinion can be utilised as a way to neglect your partner within your relationship, and then go on to compensate through a lavish celebration. So let’s keep the negative aspects in mind while I tell you what to wear for a day when you don’t have anything to do, because this holiday is meant for literally anyone else but you. I don’t think anything could make you feel worse then watching your parents get ready to go out and celebrate what I hope is a successful marriage while you sit on the couch wearing a tracksuit. I can’t really relate but I can tell you my go to outfits as a perpetually single girl for Valentine’s Day. 

  Without further ado, here’s Kellie’s survival guide to dressing on Valentine’s day. 

  Morning: I don’t think there’s any other option then fluffy pyjamas. I think the more cheesy, fluffy and ridiculous they are the better. Nothing makes you feel more secure in yourself and your loneliness then having to get the post in a pyjama top that has dancing monkeys on it and then get barked at by your neighbours annoying dog. Your day of celebration can only be improved with you trying to walk back in your front door before getting caught by that really good looking neighbour a few doors down who you just know would love you if he would only return your frequent and persistent greetings. Since you have no plans you can safely go back to bed and rot until its becomes a disgrace to waste the day anymore. The fluffy pyjamas are a particular favourite of mine on Valentine’s day. They’re warm and cosy so you’ll feel toasty when you crawl under your duvet and wrap your arms around yourself because no one else will be. The warmth created by your icky, sweaty pyjamas whose legs have wrapped around your thighs, creating a horrible pantaloon contraption is particularly appealing because you know no one is seeing you in bed today except for your mom to tell you you’re a disgrace and to get up because your Dad’s just made a fry to celebrate their decades of adoration. Thanks Mom and Dad. 

  Now for the big outfit: the lunch with your friends ensemble. I think nothing looks better then a skirt with tights if it’s cold, and without tights if you’re feeling risky because you’re showing the general public, who are actually really invested in your love life, that you still got it. Bonus points if the skirt is your go to black skirt that you wear at Christmas. By the way, this will not remind you of when both your aunt and Nana asked if you were seeing anyone and then made faces of disappointment when you said no, but on the bright side your aunt got very excited when you told them you would have way less fun at clubs. Thanks for the support aunty! If you’re feeling positive, I would go for a red or pink top which will be especially helpful in detracting from your glare at your friend who has a significant other for the first time. The unhelpful calorie counting by your friend who’s sitting holding the butter hostage is incredibly offensive to you as your toast is getting cold. It is also unwanted especially in between her repeatedly reminding everyone at the table of the plans she and her S.O have together which runs parallel with your own date with a Chinese takeaway. You feel briefly united with your other trusty friend who subtly pulls faces at you as the butter thief says for the third time how expensive the Gucci belt she bought her boyfriend was. You take comfort in the fact that your pink jumper looks much more on trend than theirs. 

  By dinner you are at home with a Chinese takeaway and your sister who is insanely positive about being single on Valentine’s day. She quickly reminds you to pull yourself together and just because you don’t have someone to spend one day with doesn’t mean you’re in any way alone or unworthy of love. You then candidly reveal that you think the oversized expensive teddies are stupid anyway. You realise that your singlehood is not necessarily a bad thing. Your friends being happy and in love isn’t insensitive to you and your needlessly hurt feelings. You’re still worthy of love and amazing and why shouldn’t that be the case? So, I don’t recommend your go-to Valentine’s day outfit be the tracksuit pants and dirty hoodie that’s lying in a pile on your chair. I think no matter your relationship status if Valentine’s Day is important to you then act like it. Wear what makes you feel good even if you’re just laying around the house. Wear something that looks beautiful and go celebrate love with your friends, or celebrate yourself by wearing your favourite clothes that make you feel good in your skin and confident. Have a happy Valentine’s Day, whatever your plans are!