Horror As Lads Wear GAA Jerseys on Night-Out

Hundreds of young club-goers were horrified last Thursday night by the arrival of a gang of lads wearing GAA jerseys.The incident occurred at the popular Hanover Street nightclub Havana Brown’s, where the Kerry minors team made an appearance sporting their green and gold county kit. Many club-goers were left confused as the team arrived at approximately half eleven at night, and no county finals were said to be taking place at this time.Though the vast majority of youths were able to avert their eyes from the sight, some fell victim to the prowess of the team. One victim, Alison Murphy, a second year English student, revealed her experience to the Express - “I’d never normally do this… but he told me he was Kerry minors captain, and then he showed me a picture of him holding the Markham cup. The next thing I knew I was shifting him.” Ms. Murphy is said to have been shunned by her English classmates and is reportedly considering a transfer to Sports Science.The ‘he’ to which Ms. Murphy refers is Kerry minors captain, Willy Ryder. An Arts student, Mr.Ryder said of the incident that it was a “fierce night-out,” and that he’s hoping to have a few wild nights like this in “the city” before going into secondary teaching in St.Joseph’s, Ballintubber.Representatives of Anglesea Street Garda station have declined to comment on the incident at this time, but a ban on the wearing of GAA jerseys when more than five hundred metres away from a pitch is reportedly in the works, one anonymous source told the Express. How students from Kilkenny, Tipperary or the aforementioned ‘Kingdom’ will let people know where they’re from is yet unknown, though one source believes they’ll just start talking.