UFO OVER IRELAND IDENTIFIED

The Unidentified Flying Object spotted over Kerry last week that baffled meteorologist and non- virgins alike, finally has an explanation. Early today in a prepared statement, the Healy Rae family took responsibility for the craft. “We’re very sorry for the fuss, honestly,” Michael Healy Rae told the gathered press, “Didn’t mean to scare anyone. The craft belonged to us, no aliens like. It’s just an experimental road paving device we’re testing out.”The craft, which was shown today for the first time is approximately 15 feet long, fuelled by turf, and adorned with drift king, JDM and Massey Ferguson sticker, because it’s from Kerry. The craft was built in secret to help the family keep its strangle hold on the lucrative road contracts they get every year.“This machine will help us keep Kerry’s road from looking like a spotty teenagers face. It will help us keep our contracts when even nepotism won’t cut it.”When questioned about why the craft was flying so close to the two British Airlines planes, Danny took the mic, “Well,” He slurred, “There are no drink driving rules in the sky, you know? So, I had a few pints for dinner and decided to take her out for a spin. No harm done.”Danny Healy Rae was later charged with drink flying and manslaughter when it was found that it was his craft that was responsible for a mid-air collision with a Martian family.He is awaiting sentencing at the Intergalactic super-prison on Pluto.