You Wear It Well: The Art of Dressing with Confidence
By Fashion Editor Lucrecia Luna Smee
Dear readers, in the wake of the world's spookiest holiday there has been a consistent theme I have noticed amongst the general public an overwhelming feeling of relief. Why relief? Perhaps because it is the one night a year where not only is it socially acceptable, but almost required, to remove yourself from your own consciousness and take on the form of another. This yearly tradition always leads to a spike in confidence as many venture far outside their comfort zones under the guise of costume, and it is that which I want to focus on today; to relish in the confidence that what we wear instils in us. It is an art to be able to wear whatever it is we wish and have the confidence to pull it off.
As someone with a self-proclaimed “delusional” amount of self-confidence when it comes to the clothes I wear, a question I am frequently asked is “How are you able to wear what you wear?” It is something I hear almost daily in various iterations – just this morning while I was sorting through clothes to wear on a date, my housemate remarked that she admired my security in my outfit choices, even after I have received critiques or comments. One can only receive such praise before sitting back and thinking “well, if the people wish to know, I might as well clue them in”, so in that spirit the topic of the day is Confidence: What is it? Why is it important to have it? And how do we find it? If you have ever looked at a friend, model, celebrity, or anyone walking down the street and thought “god I wish I could wear that”, then congratulations, this article is for you! Allow me to take the position of your fashionable big sister for the next few minutes and take you through the trials and tribulations of wearing it well and feeling confident doing so.
To start with a classic definition of the word confidence we can look to the Oxford English Dictionary, who define it as “the feeling that you can trust, believe in, and be sure about the abilities or good qualities of someone or something” and “a belief in your own ability to do things and be successful”. It is of course the second definition we are more concerned with today. This is an extremely baseline definition of confidence, it is so much more than just belief. Confidence can be a feeling, an action, or a state of mind. It is necessary for many aspects of our existence to have a certain level of confidence and self-assurance.
When it comes to what we wear, everyone has a different idea of what confidence is, and how they can dress to achieve it. Some feel their most confident in a baggy t-shirt with holes in it, others would die of shame leaving the house dressing in last season’s Burberry coat, but most lie somewhere in between the two. The clothes we put on our backs can often be weapons of confidence, armour that increases our strength and resilience. It is very true we often have multiple set outfits or clothing items reserved for individual situations and occasions that we know will bring us comfort, and at times, luck for whatever their use is – I, for example, have a specific interview outfit that I wear to almost all interviews and professional events I definitely do not belong at – for whatever reason, these set pieces just work.
This begs the question of what does that mean when clothes “just work?” Or, to put it in RuPaul’s words, when “You Wear it Well”? The meaning may seem obvious, however the cause is not quite, why? Well, I have a theory…
It is hard to exist in the fashion world without having heard the following phrase at an event, in an article, essay, publication, or even having said it among friends – “they weren’t wearing it, the outfit was wearing them.” We are all familiar with this phrase but what does it actually mean?
My absolutely professional interpretation is that the garment, outfit or piece whatever it may be is overwhelming to the eye of the beholder – a pattern that is just too eye-catching, an ill-fit that is almost impossible to ignore or shoes that are simply too much or too mismatched to the general vibe. Whatever it may be, there is simply a disconnect between the wearer and the outfit in some way. We will all fall victim to this phenomenon (affliction…disorder?) at some point in our lives and we have three choices: learn from it, ignore it by being blissfully unaware of it, or choose to own it.
It is the last option that brings a look from something that is simply on your body to a statement being made and a conscious clothing choice. It is making the decision to own what you have chosen to wear and exist with purpose and carry yourself as such which can turn these choices from something simply too powerful, to something that matches your vibe. Essentially, you need to match your clothes energy – wearing something bright and full of colour but carrying yourself as if you just had lemon juice squirted into your eyes with a blank face that could make even Wednesday Addams shudder, will do nobody any good.
So, how do we avoid this? How do we feel comfortable in what we wear? How do we have the confidence to serve a look and not just put clothes on our bodies? Well, spoiler alert, it can be quite the journey. But lucky for you I have done it and have some top tips to share with you.
Confidence in practice is a WHOLE different beast to confidence in theory, a definition on a page is one thing, but taking this to reality is going to require a boat load of practice. The first step will be one that requires a lot of repeating – no more negative self-talk. You can try to minimise it over time or quit cold turkey, but either way it is the most important step to never getting worn by something again… it is going to be difficult, but worth it. Reframing your self-perspective does wonders for many areas of life, but in this case it will significantly increase how good you look because nothing is more fashionable than a confident aura.
Building on this, feeling your best is more important than looking your best, so make sure when you are making your clothing choices day to day you are picking out pieces that feel true to you, your style, your essence, and what you feel best in. Try out different things – my favourite thing to do when building a wardrobe is make up several “tester” outfits in stores and take them to the fitting room to try on, it is a great way to spend a day and also a very cheap (it is literally free) and it is an accessible way to find what styles of clothing you look and feel your best in. This is also a great way to start blurring gender lines and playing with all the colours in the crayon box - many a fitting room fashion show must be had every season.
The main takeaway here is the key to looking confident is feeling confident. Nothing can wear you if you do not give it the power to, and if you feel like you are being worn by something, take some time to reflect, do some extra styling, try something new. But if you feel it is not working then let it go to the donate pile. And remember, there is no shame in feeling down every now and then, but in times such as those, look to your fashionable big sister (that's me, remember) and know that you WEAR IT WELL! Live your dreams, embrace your delusion, and wear that leopard print gown – trust me, it looks good.
